I love that expression "my life is a joke". It honestly has fit college life in more ways than one but I think this past summer was the epitome of the statement... and this is all true by the way. I wish I was making up some of it (really wish). Oh and before you read this, I'd like to make the point that I did have a lot of good points over the summer too but I mean, who wants to hear that when you can talk about when all hell broke loose or moments of "did that really just happen"? Also these stories are broken down into parts so that way you don't read a novel in one sitting (you're welcome). For those who are just interested in the science/music/art posted, wait until Thurs... I have way too many assignments this week to read a paper on the side... I know, I know, great start with this blog right? (you may berate me in the comments)
Our apartment was on Burbank St (photo above that I took one day being nostalgic), right behind Whole Foods by the Prudential Center and about a block away from Newbury St. I was living with my best friend from high school, Kristen, who goes to BU and had a couple jobs in the city for the summer. The location was fabulous! We had a restaurant right around the corner called Woody's Grill and Tap (see photo below...building with blue sign). It was like our mix of Ally McBeal's bar below the office/Friends' The Central Perk/How I met Your Mother's MacLaren's. This became my home away from home as the summer progressed. I didn't care if my family went, my boyfriend Ethan, Kristen, friends, or even by myself. When the "shit-ith had hit-ith the fan...-ith" (10 Things I Hate About You) my go-to-spot was there.
It was a week before move-in day when Kristen called me. She had moved in earlier due to BU wrapping up the year prior to UNH.
"There's bugs here... I think they might be cockroaches... but I'm not sure...they're only by the kitchen though at least..."
I could hear the pain and a hint of breaking point in her voice (it had been a long final exam week). I, which as time goes on you'll find humorous, was optimistic about the situation. We were going to shampoo the carpets, wipe down the cabinets, etc. So there might be some bugs, not the end of the world! They'd go away if there's no food/pets. With that said, science people, or people who have dealt with cockroaches, what can you tell me about these critters from the 7th level of hell? Here's some fun facts I can tell you about German Cockroaches (our roommates):
1) Remember that smell I thought was the cats?? Cockroaches tend to leave a chemical trace in their waste aside from letting out airborne pheromones for swarming and the purpose of mating. What I was smelling was ammonia.
2) If you ever find a stray German Cockroach during the day, this could only mean that there is a large colony infesting your home already. (yay us!)
3) Females, who are apparently very slutty, lay egg cases having over 40 eggs inside. These egg cases can be laid for over 4 times in a year after the female reaches maturity of adulthood in 40 to 60 days after 6 moults and the egg capsules are only ejected from their bodies once the babies are ready to be hatched. Therefore when you squash these stupid biddies, you are just spreading the eggs into your carpet.
4) Cockroaches are carriers of viruses and bacteria. These includes diseases such as dysentery, enteric fever, typhoid, poliomyelitis, leprosy, bubonic plague (really? really??), diarrhea and gastroenteritis.
5) THEY SURVIVE NUCLEAR WARHEADS. (I know that's common knowledge/myth but still ... )
6) They do not look this cute or act like loyal puppies (Pixar lied kiddos, sorry):
When my Dad and I came Thurs night prior to moving in that weekend, our goal was to clean the carpets and then to spray with pesticides along the walls. I figured I may even have time to clean the bathroom because it couldn't be that bad, right?... right!? (here's where you picture a little cockroach shaking his head no and killing himself laughing... damn you Jose...). We arrive at the street and Kristen opened the door to meet us. As she did this black rat by the steps came running at me with a vengeance and diverged under the car at the last second.
This is where I should have gotten back into the car, drove home, and found a new place to live for Kristen and I. But no... I wanted to live in the "real world" and be an "adult". Ha. yeahhhh....
We walk up the three flights that barely fits two people standing side by side and into our tiny home. The first thing I should mention is the carpet... We were told by the past tenant that she had cleaned the place and it just needed a bit of vacuuming.... By vacuuming she meant rip up the carpets and replace them, then yes I agree completely. There was (and I'm not exaggerating) about 1cm of cat hair layer across the entire carpet that then got thicker in areas that were walked on more. My socks went gray after crossing from the living room to the bathroom if you can't picture it. Here's where I list off the rest of the insanity:
1. couple wine stains (I think?) on the carpet
2. chocolate (once again, I think?) stains on the stove and fridge
3. garbage disposal was broken but wrapped with a plastic bag
4. cat dry food spilled all in the cabinet below the sink
5. food particles/gum smeared in to the cracks of the tile of the kitchen section
6. walls stained with oil grease and food all by the sink and oven
7. oven that had a electronic malfunction and would turn on randomly (mind you, it's a gas run oven)
8. dust layering all high areas of the apartment (granted the past tenant was my height, but really??)
On a side note relating to the cat food that was apparently a fixation in the apartment, later that week my Dad helped me pull back the fridge and stove and, low and behold, cat food covering every inch of the floor (and I wondered why we had a cockroach problem).
So needless to say I was at this point within one night:
Here's the kicker to all this,
When I had called the landlords, apparently they didn't know Kristen and I were subletting... but I'll leave that for the next post as a mini story with my belated science article and music.
Like I said, my life is a joke.